i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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