Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yo dont text me then not text me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
BRING THE BAGELS
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