I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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