after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize