it's great music for shaving your balls
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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