Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
