The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize
