you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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