So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
