Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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