did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
