It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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