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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize