so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
