There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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