Whatcha textin bout Willis?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
