so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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