Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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