I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize