Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
