I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
