Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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