I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
