i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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