2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So. Much. Porn.
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