I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
