this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
