I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize