I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
