just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
