i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
