I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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