Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
