Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
