Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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