Don't you send me to vm
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize