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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
