that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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