everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
