I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
