I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
where are my eyebrows?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
