Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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