haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize