I cockslap morals
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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