Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
