considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize