I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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