i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
