Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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