hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize