I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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