Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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