I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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