we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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