They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
