maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
