she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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