talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize