Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
