I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I smell stomach acid.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize