He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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