pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
