I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
