I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Someone shattered a urinal.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
