Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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