is your mom at the bar?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
