so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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