first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
