Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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