Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize