the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
