Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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