do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize
