I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
