OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize