Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
